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Thu, May. 19th, 2005, 08:49 pm

Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm a man of wealth and taste. Preferably your wealth. Or so the police would have you believe.

Except that I'm not expecting to steal any jewels this summer-- I'm blaming Hakuba for that. And I'm dying his hair green at the soonest opportunity. Note to self: never, ever listen to that stopwatch-obsessed Holmes-fanboy ("Interpol is protecting a collection of jewels" my ass. I can't believe I fell for that. Bastard just wanted me out of the way for the summer so he could go back to London.)

What is it about this place? The staff refused to believe I'm not a camper (I'm Japanese! This is America! Why would I even be going here?) They promptly got eaten by zombies too, which might be divine retribution, or might just have been the fact that someone threw a wounded squirrel about ten feet in front of us. When I find who did that they're going to find their underwear left out for the zombies to get.

I think I've just resigned myself to staying here-- when the couselors were distracted I took off for the entrance. You know what was there? Do you!? Fish. ZOMBIE FISH. Fish fish fish fish OH GOD! They were
staring up at me with their bulging fishy eyes and gurgling fishily, and I swear they had TEETH. Not that fish need teeth to be terrifying. But it was just the gruesome icing on a hideous cake made of TERROR.

At least normal zombies aren't slimy and scaly with big bulging eyes that stare at you like they want to drag you down to your watery doom. They just want brains. I can handle that. It's just like Inspector
Nakamori before he's had his coffee on a morning after he's failed to capture me the Kaitou Kid. Just put on your biggest grin and edge towards the nearest object large enough to hide behind for a while.

So I'm staying here until I can figure out a way around the... the FISH. Anyway, I think I saw a glimpse of the the world's smallest detective, and a counselor mentioned something about "the top three detectives in the world" (before he ran off, persued by a bear-- what is it with this place?) So maybe I won't be entirely bored. I wonder if the girls here wear skirts. Bet they all wear white panties.